


The Almost-Something

by whalehuntingboyfriends



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - GTA, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Insecure Gavin, and Michael as well oop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 05:56:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4817666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whalehuntingboyfriends/pseuds/whalehuntingboyfriends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin likes Michael, and he’s 99% sure Michael likes him too. The problem is, Michael won’t make the first move - so Gavin takes matters into his own hands. Of course, it all backfires spectacularly.</p><p>(<b>Prompt:</b> 3 times Gavin tried to make Michael jealous and 1 time he didn't (someone is hitting on him and he's actually scared this time because it's not planned/he can't see where Michael is))</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Almost-Something

**Author's Note:**

> **t/w: one incident of fairly aggressive harassment**

The thing is, desperate times call for desperate measures, and Gavin is growing very fucking desperate.

The problem is a simple but irresolvable one. Gavin is a giant bloody coward.

And apparently - who would have thought - Michael is also a giant bloody coward.

The situation is as such: Gavin likes Michael a lot. He’s liked him since first sight, really, which occurred through a computer screen when he looked up who the guy helping another crew blow up half the fucking coastline was and managed to get a name and a face. Michael Jones was the name, and the face was remarkably cute, but Gavin thinks little of it, at least until Geoff decides to hire the hot headed bombs expert with a temper as explosive as the devices he works with.

At first he’s a bit intimidating, to Gavin at least, who alongside being the least combat-oriented of the crew has the added benefit of constantly being terrified of new people. That wears off quickly. Michael shouts a lot but Gavin soon realises he just speaks loudly after so long working around explosions. He gets angry frequently but it doesn’t take long to work out there’s no malice in it. And he quickly seems to become fond of Gavin, laughing uproariously at most things he says alongside calling him a “fucking idiot,” but it’s always undercut by the sparkle in his eyes and the little tug of his lips when he looks at Gavin afterwards.

So he’s a hell of a laugh, really, and they get along tremendously, and it soon feels like he’s been with the crew a long time-

And then, of course, Gavin just has to start noticing things.  Like how much he likes Michael’s freckles, or his little dimple when he smiles, or how much he likes _making_ him smile, or how he himself pretty much can’t stop grinning stupidly when Michael is around.

How he feels sort of nervous when Michael touches him; slings an arm around him or ruffles his hair or grabs his wrist to lead him somewhere, and how he suddenly feels self conscious about touching Michael back - he never has before, but now he’s too-aware of how warm Michael’s hands are, and how broad and strong his shoulders, and how despite that strength there’s always something careful and delicate in his touch from years working around sensitive wires and charges.

It builds up. It becomes somewhat impossible to ignore that he - oh, fool - has gone and broken the almighty rule of _don’t shit where you eat_ and fallen for a coworker. And it’s laughable, at first, because  Michael is _Michael_ ; brash and confident and fearless, with his easy laugh and wicked grin when he blows something up; Michael who can handle a gun or a bomb-

And Gavin is… well, Gavin, and even if he knows he is very clever and invaluable to the team he does mostly sit in front of the computer all day, and when he does go on heists he mostly trails along after Ryan occasionally shooting at something until he’s called in to hack a computer or an electronic keypad. Gavin’s scrawny with his big nose and ridiculous accent and there’s not much to offer there, really, is there. So it’s all a bit silly really, but there is still nothing to be done about it. You can’t undo feelings.

So Gavin likes Michael. Oh my fucking God does he like him. It’s becoming a bit of a problem really because he thinks about him entirely too much, and probably texts him too much, and can’t stop fucking grinning when he’s around, or staring at him, and it would be extremely embarrassing except that, oh, joy of joys-

He knows Michael likes him too.

He knows this for a variety of reasons, number one being that Ray told him, in his usual deadpan way, and while Ray can be a giant troll at times he was being quite serious about this. Gavin thinks. Gavin _hopes_.

In any case, Ray is Michael’s best friend, and they room together, so when he comes up one day and flatly tells Gavin “Michael likes you, so fucking do something about it, please,” Gavin is surprised but not disbelieving.

“What,” he replies, “Did he tell you?”

“Yes.”

“Like, told-you told-you or just sort of implied?”

“Told-me told-me,” Ray says, with the air of the very weary, “Quite frankly I’m _sick_ of him telling me so for the love of God can you two bang already because I do not want to hear about his giant flaming crush any longer.”

“Oh,” Gavin says, and gets a funny sort of little thrill in the pit of his stomach, and after that he starts noticing with a little more confidence that Michael does look at him a lot as well, and maybe he’s not being an idiot to think there’s something more in it.

There are other reasons. They flirt sometimes. Well, a lot, but that doesn’t really count because everyone flirts with everyone else. Michael acts just the same way with Geoff, and Ryan - but lately, it seems, with Gavin more than them. And it’s not always just stupid dick jokes, either. It’s things like “I will do this because I love you, boi,” before blowing something up for him, or “Gavin this is where we will raise our family,” when they pass one of the extravagant mansions of horrifying “modern” design in Achievement City-

Or one incredible time that Gavin maybe can’t stop thinking about, when he muttered “Fuck me,” after screwing something up and accidentally locking himself out of the computer he was hacking, and he heard Michael, standing nearby, mumble “Gladly.”

 _Gladly_.

That was some compelling evidence right there. 

Also, the others seem to have picked up on it, which adds weight to Gavin’s belief that Michael does indeed like him. They tease them about it. Ryan will call Michael Gavin’s boyfriend, or Jack will continually ask if they banged yet when Gavin sleeps over at Michael’s after a bevs night.

Geoff is the worst of it, managing to make snide little comments whenever possible. He stupidly knows, because Gavin stupidly told him, that Gavin likes Michael, and because he is an asshole he brings it up whenever he has the chance. Pairs them off on heists or informs everyone that Gavin will ride with Michael, will team up with Michael, likes Michael the best - it makes Gavin splutter every time, and Michael laugh like he thinks Geoff is joking-

(But he knows Geoff isn’t joking, Gavin can tell, because Michael will always give him a funny sort of intent look afterwards and a little smirk-)

But whenever someone does comment Michael will laugh it off, or go red and yell at them, so it remains, very firmly, a joke.

Still, Michael keeps looking at him fondly, or squeezing his shoulder a bit too long after telling him he’s done a good job on something, so by this point Gavin is positive that his feelings are reciprocated.

Also, they had a Moment, one night after a heist that had very nearly gone wrong. They pulled it off fine but Geoff, Michael and Jack were in the escape car when an explosion cut a little too close and nearly took them out. They were celebrating afterwards as usual but everyone was a little rattled and when Gavin went out back to get some air Michael slipped out after him, and they stood too-close and Michael pressed his arm against Gavin’s and his skin was very warm against the cool night air, and he said, without looking at Gavin, “You don’t need to worry, I’m not going anywhere yet. We have too much left to do.”

Gavin was certain in that moment that he was about to make a move, and his heart starting pounding too-too-fast and his breath caught in his throat - especially when Michael looked at him, for a long moment, and when Gavin turned to look back their faces were very close.

But then Michael just grinned, and jostled him, and broke the mood by loudly declaring, “Eh, boi?”

So nothing came of it, which was marvellously disappointing, but still. Gavin lived in hope.

So here they are now, firmly established in the almost-something zone, having danced around this for… well… possibly several months now. That is probably too long, Gavin thinks, but he’s not about to make the first move, no sir, he Does Not Do That. Ever. When he does it’s only bevved-up and approaching someone for a one night stand, because liquid courage is sort of a necessary crutch when you have rejection issues the size of Mount Everest. But he can’t do that here, he can’t be drunk, he cannot Fuck This Up - not when, for the first time in a long time, it means so much to him.

So even if he is 99% certain that Michael likes him too, that remaining 1% of doubt is enough to keep him firmly in his own corner. Just in case he’s somehow misjudged everything horribly. Michael is going to have to make the first move.

Except - and here’s the rub - he is beginning to grow kind of impatient because Michael just… doesn’t.

Doesn’t do anything. Doesn’t move past what they are now. Just keeps deflecting the others when they bring it up, and damnably smiling away at Gavin and lifting his hopes only to leave them stagnating in this awful almost-something. It’s killing him slowly.

And that is where the problems all begin, really.

 

* * *

 

**1.**

Things are actually going quite well at first.

They’re at the bar after another successful heist. They’re all hyped up on the adrenaline of the job - it was one of the good ones, the ones that somehow, miraculously, go completely smoothly, everyone doing their assigned jobs with a practiced fluidity. In and out without ever being detected and several gold bars fucking richer for it. They’re giddy on the success of it and Gavin, most of all, feels like he might just burst because Michael-

Michael-

Michael hugged him, after they got out. Real tight and chest heaving with laughter at how well things went, and when they pulled apart he pressed a big kiss to Gavin’s cheek and ruffled his hair and said “You’re a brilliant bastard, you know.”

(Gavin knows. He knows not many people could hack into the security system of one of the most secure vaults in the city but he can’t even register the praise right now, his mind going into overdrive at the brightness in Michael’s eyes and how the other man grabbed his hand - his _hand_ \- to lead him back to the others-)

And now here, at the bar, they’re all laughing and joking but Michael has gone a bit quieter and he keeps _looking_ at Gavin. And opening his mouth like he’s gonna say something, or half reaching out to grab his arm before pulling back, and Gavin can tell that he’s working up the courage, that he’s flustering to make a move.

And man oh man Gavin thinks he is really gonna do it this time, this is it, the second the others leave and Michael gets him alone _this is going to be it-_

And then, of course, Ryan has to open his mouth.

“Sorry Michael, are you too busy staring longingly at Gavin?” he asks - Michael’s missed some question he asked him, distracted.

Michael glances at him, startled, then goes red and starts to laugh it off, but Ryan just has to push it.

“No really, do you two want a moment of alone time?”

He’s obviously just teasing but Michael goes even redder and before Gavin quite knows what’s happening he’s pushing his chair away from Gavin’s a little.

“Ha ha Ryan. Very funny,” he says, and snorts, looking over at the bar nearby. “But I am gonna go get another drink.”

He marches off before any of them can respond, and Gavin wonders - vaguely, nervously, if Michael means for him to follow so they can talk. But he isn’t sure, so he sits, watching awkwardly as Michael moves up to the counter.

That is where things go wrong.

While waiting for his drink Michael leans in to talk to another girl sitting, waiting nearby. Gavin stiffens a bit when he sees Michael laugh too loudly, smiling at whatever it is she’s said - she’s turning, interested now, and even when his drink comes Michael lingers, chatting with her. Leaning in to hear her properly over the noise of the bar.

Gavin’s heart sinks into his shoes as he watches, a hurt confusion spreading through his gut. There’s something too deliberate in Michael’s actions and Ryan has noticed too, something confused in his face as well.

It’s obvious this is some sort of deflection. That Michael’s always laughed off the other’s jokes and comments before but for some reason, tonight, Ryan pointing out his staring at Gavin has hit a nerve and he wants to draw attention away from it. But it still _hurts_ , and Gavin can’t quite figure out why - why Michael would feel the need to do that - why Michael won’t just make a fucking _move_ already-

(And inside, a little, why Michael would do that when he _knows_ Gavin can see him too, when he has to know how this would make him feel-)

And feel he does. Sick and sad and deep inside some niggling, insecure hurt that maybe he _has_ misjudged all this, maybe Ryan’s comment made Michael uncomfortable because he _doesn’t_ like Gavin and just doesn’t know how to tell him-

No.

That can’t be possible. There is too much evidence, and Ray said, and didn’t Michael kiss his cheek today, and wasn’t he staring at Gavin with some intent before - if this _is_ some deflection just to keep the others off his back, Gavin isn’t going to stand for it.

Some annoyance builds up now in his gut, some anger, and he shoves his chair back, the others glancing up at him in surprise.

“Need a drink,” Gavin says stiffly, and strides off towards the bar before anyone can reply.

It is at this point that the idea forms. Two can play at this game and if Michael won’t make a move, if he’s gonna flirt with some girl right in front of him - Gavin can give him a little push. Make him see that he’s not gonna just wait around forever (okay that is a lie, he probably would just wait around forever if it came to it, but it is not going to because this is a Totally Foolproof Plan That Is Not Immature At All)-

He barely even pauses to consider whether this is a good idea or not before he’s approaching a man he noticed before flirting with another guy at the bar, though it didn’t pan out, and the dude’s now left sitting sadly alone. He’s an attractive guy, all smooth dark skin and thick curls. Amazing teeth, Gavin notices, when the man looks up and flashes him a grin as he sees him approach, and there’s a gold ring glimmering against his lip that catches Gavin’s eye. He does like gold rather a lot.

“Hey,” Gavin says with a nod, as he slides into the seat next to him and motions over the bartender. He can see Michael behind the guy, though he has his back turned, still talking to the girl. Something ugly and resentful curls in his stomach, but he forces it away as he smiles at the man, who’s smiling tentatively back.

“Hey,” he replies. “Can I get you a drink?”

“That’d be top.” 

The guy’s grin widens and Gavin can’t help but smile back, shifting to get more comfortable on his seat. His drink arrives as he strikes up conversation with the man - Damian, his name is, and he calls himself an artist which Gavin knows means he works in forgery; most everyone in this bar is part of their unsavoury line of work, it’s why they come here so often. He’s a pretty cool guy and easy to talk to - Gavin’s surprised by his own confidence since usually he needs to be quite buzzed to even think about approaching someone.

It’s probably because he doesn’t actually want to go home with this guy. Because there’s no real motivation there - even as they talk he’s distracted by Michael, watching him over Damian’s shoulder, waiting for him to turn and notice-

And turn he does, just as their conversation is picking up a bit - Damian’s been sitting here quite a while after all and seems itching to get home, preferably with Gavin, so he’s putting the moves on strong just as Michael turns his head.

Gavin _sees_ Michael stiffen, his shoulders tensing, eyes narrowing as he recognises Gavin at the bar. Gavin himself avoids eye contact, watching Michael in his peripheral as he laughs a bit too loudly at what was really not a very funny joke. Damian might be a nice guy but his comedic timing leaves much to be desired.

“But anyway,” Damian says then, and Gavin’s attention snaps back to him. “Do you want to get out of here and I can show you some of my paintings back at my place?”

Michael is watching them, but he hasn’t come over, and Gavin suddenly feels quite unsure about what he hoped to get out of going and hitting on some other guy right in front of the person he _likes_ , but by God he’s in this too deep now, he’s gotta _commit_ at this point, and he isn’t quite sure why the fuck he does it, but before he knows it he’s nodding.

“Sure,” he says, and Damian grins his charming grin, sliding off the stool.

“Awesome,” he says. He sounds delighted as he leans in, one hand resting gently on Gavin’s arm as he murmurs, so close his breath tickles Gavin’s ear: “Your accent is really hot.”

Gavin blinks a few times, despite himself unable to help his small smile as Damian pulls back. The other man seems really excited and it’s… kind of novel, really, because he’s been so busy with work and so focused on Michael lately that he’s hit a bit of a dry spell, and for someone to actually seem so _into_ him is… nice. Reassuring, almost. 

But at the back of his mind is Michael, still, and his purpose for doing all this in the first place, and as Damian takes him by the arm and starts heading for the door with him Gavin turns his head in time to see Michael’s face cloud over as he storms towards them.

The mere sight of him approaching sends something like an electric shock through him, something nervous fizzling in the pit of his belly. There’s something tight and jealous in Michael’s face and oddly it’s _relief_ that floods through Gavin - that he didn’t misjudge, that Michael cares enough to intervene, that this stupid plan worked enough to push Michael into coming over- 

Relief and something like excitement as Michael marches up and plants himself in their path, scowling.

Poor Damian stares at him, oblivious.

“Can I help you?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Michael snaps - he glances at Gavin and there’s something annoyed and possessive in it. “That one’s mine, so let go of him.”

“I’m sorry?” Damian glances between them, bewildered. Gavin can’t even offer up an excuse; Michael’s words have left his mouth suddenly dry, his heart fluttering in his chest. _Mine. That one’s mine_.

“You heard me.”

“Wow, okay.” Damian steps away from Gavin, eyes wide. “Not cool, man, could have told me you had a boyfriend. Seriously.”

Gavin doesn’t even get a chance to reply before Michael’s hand is wrapped tightly around his wrist and he’s being dragged out - past even the table where the others are sitting, right out the door into the parking lot behind the pub. His head spins a little from the sudden cold night air and his acute, giddy awareness of Michael’s grip on his arm - firm but not hard enough to hurt.

“What the fuck was that, Gavin?” Michael demands, not letting go of him.

Gavin stares at him and the shame rises up then, because it feels a bit pathetic, now, to admit his sudden insecurity - to admit that he was trying to prompt _jealousy_ \- and he swallows, forcing a glare.

“What do you mean, what was that?” he asks - and the annoyance comes out a little more genuinely when he remembers Michael talking to that girl as well - “You can’t just barge in like that and drag me away from people.”

“I can when you’re putting yourself in danger.” Michael lets go of him and Gavin pulls his arm back, too aware of the lingering warmth around his wrist. 

“Danger?” he asks, and Michael scoffs.

“You know what that bar’s like, Gav. You don’t go home with people from there. Geoff’s told you a hundred fucking times already. You can’t trust people in that dive, they’re all scumbags.”

“ _We_ go to that bar.”

“Exactly,” Michael replies, rolling his eyes. “He could’ve been a bounty hunter looking to get a price on your head. You know there are people out there who’ll get to Geoff through you.”

“He was an artist.”

“Sure. You know Ryan fucking calls it ‘art’ when he sets people on fire with flare guns.” Michael scoffs, but there’s still genuine annoyance in his tone. “I can’t fucking believe you were about to go home with that guy-”

“I wasn’t,” Gavin cuts in, because he didn’t mean to actually _hurt_ Michael - “He was just gonna show me some of his pictures. What about you, then, you were hitting on someone too.”

“We were just talking,” Michael says defensively, and Gavin sighs a bit. Out here in the cold, now that that first exciting flare of anger is dying down into something more grudging and simmering, things don’t seem quite so fun any more. 

But Michael scans Gavin’s face then and seems to notice he’s getting a bit upset. His anger softens away and he reaches out and straightens Gavin’s shirt, smoothing it over his shoulders and turning out his crooked collar.

“You need to be more careful,” he chides, and Gavin can’t help but smile at the barely hidden protectiveness in his tone.

“I am careful, Michael.”

Michael snorts. “No, you’re not.”

“I can take care of myself you know.” He might spend most of the day in front of a computer but he’d be an idiot not to have learned how to defend himself given what they do for a living.

“I know,” Michael admits, “But still.”

He finishes fixing Gavin’s collar but doesn’t let go of his shoulders and Gavin can only stand there, staring at him wide-eyed. Too aware of his own breathing and transfixed by the slight pressure of Michael’s hands on him, so warm he can feel it even through the fabric of his shirt.

“If you did wanna go home with someone,” Michael says gruffly - and there’s something a little insecure in his voice too now - “I couldn’t stop you. I don’t own you. Just… not someone from this place. It’s not safe.”

“I didn’t want to go home with him,” Gavin replies softly, and Michael looks up at him, eyes fierce and intent.

“Good,” he says, and Gavin’s breath catches a little when the hand on his shoulder moves up and curls around the back of his neck instead - gentle, but something protective in it, and the touch makes a tingle run down his spine. They stand close for a moment just staring at each other before Michael nudges Gavin back towards the door, the hand dropping to pull around his shoulders instead even as he leads him back inside to join the others. Geoff gives them a funny look and Ryan looks a bit alarmed, but whatever they see in the two’s faces has them quiet, not commenting on where they were or what they might have seen at the bar.

Even as they fall back into a group conversation Michael’s hand stays nudged up against Gavin’s under the table and with things calming down now Gavin has the presence of mind to feel, secretly, very pleased.

That went remarkably well.

Michael’s obviously not gonna make a move tonight, not after all that - but that little trick worked well. It pushed him into at least doing _something_ to claim his interest. To showing, _proving_ that he does care - that he does want Gavin - and that has him not only glad but reassured that Michael does like him after all. It just took a little nudge for him to properly show it.

Despite being a little awkward at one point back there - a great success, he thinks, and lets himself relish the tiny point of contact where Michael’s fingers are pressing against his.

 

* * *

 

**2.**

The problem is, you’d think after that little fiasco that Michael would finally get his ass in gear and do something, right?

Right?

Apparently not. By the next day he’s back to how he was. Little smiles and touches but no fucking making a move - still laughing off the others’ comments, though after what happened Ryan and Geoff have toned it down a bit.

Thing is, it’s even worse because Gavin’s on tenterhooks now - he was so certain that Michael was gonna do something that now every time the other man looks at him, every second they’re alone, he starts getting nervous and excited waiting for it to _happen_ \- and then when it doesn’t, it’s disappointing. It’s so disappointing that it kind of hurts.

That goes on for three God damn weeks and Gavin’s about ready to explode when things come to a head. They’re out at a bar again and this time Michael and Gavin are the only two there from Fake AH - they’re out with a bunch of other friends, people from Burnie’s crew mostly who they haven’t seen in a while-

And Dan, who’s been over the last few days helping out on a job. He’s stayed over with Geoff and Gavin and that’s been some distraction, at least, from the Michael problem. Gavin’s been hanging around him more because even if they talk frequently it’s been a while since he actually saw his friend in person.

One little issue is that he’s pretty sure Michael doesn’t like Dan. He joined Geoff’s crew recently enough that this is the first time he’s met him and Gavin had hoped they’d get along, but Michael’s been aloof, barely making the effort to speak to him and shooting him slightly sour looks now and then.

Maybe Gavin’s a little dense. It takes a bit for it to click, until they’re playing pool in the side room of the bar and Barbara asks Gavin if he misses England and Michael cuts in then, snidely:

“He probably misses Dan. So much he might just go back to England with him after all this, right?”

Gavin laughs, a little startled.

“Nah, could never go back there permanently. The weather’s so shit compared to here,” he replies, but he’s distracted by the look on Michael’s face, how there was something too genuine in his comment, and _oh_ , Gavin realises.

Ohhh.

Michael’s jealous again. Not as sudden or as fiercely as last time, but it’s obvious he doesn’t like that Gavin has sorta ditched him the last couple of days to spend time with Dan instead.

The problem is this whole thing has dragged on too long. That they’re mutually-interested-but-not-actually-together means they can’t properly _talk_ about this stuff; there’s too much going unsaid.

It needs to end, which is why the amazing idea comes to Gavin that he should do it again! He should make Michael jealous, and maybe this time it will prompt some actual action.

(There is, of course, that one other delightful solution in that Gavin could, y’know, _make the first fucking move himself_. That’s a thing that could happen. The thought passes through his mind and is swiftly discarded. Being the emotionally constipated creature he is it makes much more sense to just play the jealousy card to push Michael into action. O, most excellent plan.)

“I’m bored of this,” he says, putting his pool cue down. “Let’s get more bevs.”

Barbara nods, and Michael glances at Gavin, who doesn’t look back at him. They head back to their booth and to Gavin’s delight someone from another table has nicked his chair while they were away. He promptly takes this as an act of divine providence. Obviously God is on his side in all this. Like for real, if frikkin’ Jesus is wing-manning him at this point then obviously this is a good idea.

“Someone stole my damn chair,” he cries, and they all snicker at him. The bar is crowded and every seat around them is full.

Barbara scoots over where she’s sitting in the booth against the wall.

“If we all squash in you can fit I think,” she suggests, but Gavin shakes his head.

“Nah, I’ll just sit in Dan’s lap!”

“Oh, what!” Dan cries, but he’s laughing and at the level of buzzed that this sort of thing is a riot to him, and he willingly scoots back his chair. Gavin catches Michael’s brows furrow as he plonks himself down in Dan’s lap. _Going well_ , he thinks.

Barbara is squealing with laughter and already pulling out her phone to take photos.

“Your arse is well bony, B,” Dan complains. “Oh God, stop squirming.”

“Sorry.” He shifts to get more comfortable and Dan’s hand goes to his hip to steady him. He looks across the table and okay, Michael is _livid_. He’s hiding it behind the most forced smile Gavin has ever seen but honestly it looks more like a grimace. He is definitely not a happy chappy.

“I can go get you a chair, Gav,” Michael says, very tightly.

“Nah, boi, I’m comfortable here,” Gavin replies, reaching for a beer he left on the table earlier.  Michael clenches his jaw but says nothing and as conversation starts up between the others again Gavin shifts on Dan’s lap, leaning in against his friend’s shoulder and making himself comfortable. Dan wraps an arm around his waist so he can reach his beer without worrying about Gavin falling off, and Michael’s face clouds over before he shoves his chair back and marches off, muttering about going to the bathroom.

Gavin watches him leave, pleased by his reaction, only to jump a bit when Dan pokes his side.

“The hell is this all about then?” he mutters into Gavin’s ear.

Gavin turns to look at him - the others at the table are distracted by their own chatter - and considers lying, but Dan’s eyebrows are raised and he knows, because Gavin has complained to him a number of times, about his feelings for Michael.

“He won’t make a bloody move, B. I know he’s interested but he just won’t do anything.”

“So _you_ ask him out then,” Dan says, and Gavin shakes his head furiously.

“I can’t! What if he says no?”

“He won’t say no! He’s _into you_ , even I can see it-”

“But _what if_ , Dan. No, I have this cunning plan instead.”

“A cunning plan that involves you sitting in my lap?” Dan asks, and Gavin pokes him hard in the chest.

“It’s pretty genius. If I make him jealous he’ll finally make a move.”

Dan stares at him, and then glances off in the direction Michael went, before turning back to Gavin and slowly shaking his head.

“Gav,” he says flatly, “Oh my God. Sort yourself out, mate.”

“What?” Gavin demands. “It’s working so far.”

“That’s stupid, that’s just _stupid_. Just make a fucking move yourself for God’s sake,” Dan says.

A flicker of uncertainty at his friend’s objection. But then Gavin shakes his head.

“No,” he insists. “I’m telling you, it’s working. And you have to help me out here, B.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Dan scoffs, but just rolls his eyes and takes another swig of his beer.

Michael returns at that moment, still looking tense. He avoids looking at Gavin and Dan as he sits back down. Gavin nudges Dan, who sighs, but he’s always gone along with Gavin’s plans no matter how ridiculous. He puts his beer down to wrap his arms around Gavin’s waist and rest his chin on his shoulder, staring at him adoringly.

The problem is, Dan’s always been entirely too charming for his own good, and even if _Gavin_ knows him well enough to tell when he’s joking, from an outsider’s perspective it must look a little too convincing. Michael takes one glance at them and gets right back up again, storming out of the bar with something a bit too genuine about his anger. Barbara and Aaron look up, startled, and Gavin’s previous glee fades away in place of something more uncertain.

“You’ve upset him now,” Dan says, letting him go. “Told you this was stupid.”

“Shut up, B,” Gavin replies distractedly. He slides off Dan’s lap and hurries out after Michael. His heart is racing, something close to fear in it - he’d expected Michael to do or say something, not leave.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Hitting on some bar random is one thing, but Dan is different. Michael doesn’t know him, doesn’t know what their relationship is like, isn’t aware that Dan’s preferred type is decidedly female (and decidedly cross-eyed).

“Michael,” he calls out as he steps out of the bar and catches sight of the other man’s jacket ahead of him. “Where you going, boi?”

Michael’s headed off down the street beside the bar, but he stops now, leaning back against the wall and hunching his shoulders up. He’s still got a beer bottle in his hand, and he glances at Gavin with annoyance and takes a quick swig from it.

“What are you doing out here?” he demands.

“Came after you!” Gavin replies.

“Why?”

“Because. You left really suddenly.” Gavin stops next to him, uncertain - Michael’s glaring at him, closed off and turned away, and Gavin feels terrible now because he wanted to annoy him, sure, but not actually make him think that he was into someone else. That he didn’t care.

“It’s no fun without you in there,” he continues, and Michael snorts.

“Seems like you were having plenty of fun with Dan,” he replies, grumpily.

“He’s just my friend,” Gavin says, a little sheepish now. “I don’t see him all that much when he’s in England. I miss him.”

“Friends,” Michael scoffs, not having it. “Sure seems like it.”

“We just tease, Michael.” Oh God, this has all gone rather downhill. Trying to steer it back to his initial intention - to prompt Michael towards doing something about his irritation, he continues, “Besides, what’s it matter to you?”

Michael glances up at him, guarded, and Gavin drops all his pretences now. Stares at him earnestly, hopefully, willing Michael to see what exactly he’s been trying to do here. _Get the point. Say something. Say what I want you to say, what I_ need _you to say - tell me it does matter, that it matters because you like me…_

But Michael just lifts the bottle to his lips again and turns away, taking a long, slow sip. When he lowers it he says, flatly, “You can do whatever you like.”

Gavin bites his lip.

“I’m not into him,” he reiterates, but Michael’s on the defensive now, just shrugging and raising his eyebrows.

“You’re right, what does it matter to me? You can do what you want.”

“I want,” Gavin begins, but trails off - he can’t say it, can’t admit it, even now is too terrified that Michael might push him away - especially given the way he’s behaving now.

Michael’s watching him expectantly and Gavin swallows hard, mouth suddenly dry as dust.

“It’s not Dan I like,” he says, a bit helplessly. It’s the closest he’ll probably ever get to an admission of feelings and he searches desperately for some acknowledgement in Michael’s face - is _expecting_ one - but Michael just watches him, and while his anger has cooled down a little, it’s been replaced by something deliberately blank and hard and Gavin sort of wants to shrivel up and die in the face of it.

“It’s not Dan I like,” he repeats desperately, and oh God, surely Michael must _get_ what he’s trying to say.

 _Come on_ , he thinks, pleading, _make a move, do it -_ he’s being so fucking obvious here that Michael _must_ understand - it’s practically an _invitation_ -

“Well,” is all Michael says. “Might give people the wrong idea the way you two act.”

“Who’s people?” Gavin shoots back, another blatant invitation. _Oh my God just do it, just say something -_ this is killing him here, he can barely breathe, but Michael’s just calmly swirling the beer in his bottle around in his hand.

Gavin swallows. Tries again, even less subtle now - “Dan’s probably gonna go hit on some girl in a minute so if anyone wanted to make a move on me they wouldn’t have to worry about him.”

“Is that so,” Michael replies. But he still doesn’t _fucking do anything_. Just finishes his drink and sighs a bit and Gavin drops his eyes to the ground, embarrassment burning in his gut because there is no way, no _way_ Michael didn’t realise he was practically fucking inviting him to make a move just then and the fact that he basically _ignored_ every opening - Gavin feels pathetic now, and humiliated, that sting of rejection that he can never stand making his skin crawl.

“You’re right,” Michael says. “He’s your friend and you should spend as much time as possible with him while he’s here. Let’s go back in, then.”

In a shocking act of environmental crime, he discards his beer bottle on the ground before heading back inside while Gavin stares helplessly after him.

Well. Well! That did not go as planned. Oh lordy, okay. This is bad.

Not even the slightest intimate moment between them like they had last time - not even a hint of a move from Michael - and now the other man has just left him standing here alone.

He… doesn’t understand?

He was so sure, so _sure_ Michael liked him, and he just gave a him a dozen bloody opportunities to admit it. They’re alone. Neither of them are drunk. None of the others are here to tease them. The time was ripe and Michael just seemed _indifferent_ and suddenly all of Gavin’s insecurities are slamming back in-

_But Dan said he seemed like he liked you-_

_What does Dan fucking know. Why would Michael like_ you? _You’re so pathetic you can’t even ask someone out. He probably just pities you. If he is jealous it’s only because you’re friends and you ignored him in favour of Dan lately. Maybe he doesn’t like you - maybe not - maybe this whole time you’ve made a fool of yourself-_

This isn’t fun any more.

This has backfired horribly and he’s left with the sinking, sick feeling that maybe he’s misjudged everything terribly, has let his own crush delude him into misinterpreting everything.

_You do this to yourself, you idiot._

He heads back in slowly and pauses. Michael’s back at the table, laughing with Aaron like nothing even happened, and he’s even speaking to Dan now, leaning in to include him in some joke. But he doesn’t so much as look at Gavin as he enters, and Gavin hangs back, afraid to get close or look at him and see - what? Anger, pity, or worse - _indifference_.

He doesn’t stick around much more after that, whispering to Barbara that he’s leaving and then heading out to wait for a taxi. He’s sitting on the curb with his shoulders hunched up, repeatedly and aggressively killing characters on Crossy Road, when a hand descends on his shoulder and he jumps violently. Doge meets a sticky end under the wheels of a truck.

Some pitiful part of him hopes it’s Michael as he looks up. His heart sinks when it’s Dan, although he feels a bit better when his friend sits down next to him, bumping a warm shoulder against his.

“What happened?” Dan asks, and Gavin sighs a bit.

“You were right. It was a stupid idea but it doesn’t matter anyway. I misread it all, I don’t think he-”

“He was totally jealous,” Dan cuts in. “I saw his face. He didn’t like that.”

“But he still didn’t _do_ anything, Dan. If he was really into me he’d do something. I just gave him the biggest fucking chance back there - I was practically waving a flashing sign saying _make a bloody move_. And he _didn’t_.” He reaches up and scrubs at his face with his sleeve, upset, and Dan watches him with wide eyes.

“Wow,” he says, quietly. “You really like this guy.”

“Doesn’t matter much, does it,” Gavin mutters, and turns away, shoving his phone back in his pocket. “Go have fun with them, Dan. Don’t let my drama make you miss a night out while you’re here.”

Dan doesn’t move.

“You won’t make a move, but you expect him to?” he points out. “Maybe he’s waiting for you to do it and this silly jealousy plan of yours is giving him mixed signals.”

Gavin just shakes his head. It seems much more likely to him that this whole time Michael’s either been humouring him or he’s been misjudging his actions, because Michael is brave, and confident, not weak like Gavin. He’s not one to pull punches at all; if he wants something he goes after it and it - it worked so _well_ back at the other bar, that first time. He’d really thought it’d work again. _He said you were_ his _._ But tonight Michael had just seemed annoyed, not possessive or even protective, and Gavin shakes off Dan’s words, hunching his shoulders again. After a moment Dan sighs and gives up, patting Gavin on the back and waiting with him until the taxi arrives.

 

* * *

 

**3.**

It’s all downhill from there, really.

After that night out, a tension lingers between Michael and Gavin - and not the good, exciting sort of tension. The bad and worrying sort that leaves Gavin anxious whenever Michael’s in the same room, that has them ignoring each other, that makes Gavin yearn to go up and talk to him and _apologise_ -

But he doesn’t, he _can’t_. He’s too scared.

He’s ruined everything, he thinks, and spends a lot of time kicking himself. Dan’s gone home now, leaving him with no one else who knows exactly what happened - and he knows Geoff’s worried about the sudden distance between the two of them, but neither he nor any of the others have said anything.

And _Michael_ hasn’t said anything.

It’s the shock of it that’s the worst. They were going so well, and then things went so wrong so fast - and it’s all Gavin’s fault, he knows.

He’s too afraid to try and fix things, so he’s left in this odd limbo, waiting for Michael to make a move, hoping to God that even if any chance of a relationship has been shot to bits, he hasn’t irrevocably fucked up their friendship.

Then Jordan comes to visit.

The other man is a new hacker Burnie’s just brought in to work with him and he comes over to the FAHC’s base one day to run some of Burnie’s new projects past Gavin.

He is possibly the classiest guy Gavin’s ever seen.

He’s immediately intimidated, the way he always is a bit with people he doesn’t know. Especially ones in his field - he knows he himself is one of the best hackers in the country, but from what he’s heard, this guy is very, very good too.

But his fears are unfounded. Once the initial awkwardness of a first meeting is over, they click immediately. Jordan is friendly and chill and as soon as they get chatting it’s only a few minutes before they’re raving over the different jobs they’ve done, their different methods.

Jordan is astoundingly good looking. From an objective standpoint, there is no denying that. He’s put together and suave and even if his job involves sitting in front of a computer most of the day, he’s shockingly well dressed, and Gavin feels a bit slobby in comparison.

But he works solo so often that it’s novel to talk to someone else who does the same thing he does, so soon he’s jabbering happily away, more talkative than he’s been in days, and before long he takes Jordan down to his computer lab to look over some of his projects.

Michael and Ray are in there, and they glance up when they come in. Michael avoids Gavin’s eyes even as they both greet Jordan before turning back to whatever they were doing at one of the computers - looking at gross things on Reddit, it seems. Gavin ignores them, sitting down with Jordan and starting to go over his project with him.

It is not even deliberate this time.

After all, it’s only polite for him to look at Jordan and nod and smile while he’s listening to what he has to say. And he knows what he’s talking about, a technological ramble that would probably make no sense to anyone else but that Gavin understands. It’s been a while since he spoke to other hackers so he’s absorbed, of course he is. Of course he stares at Jordan with rapt attention.

And they’re both looking at the same small computer screen, so it’s only natural that when Jordan points out something to him he leans in over Gavin’s shoulder to do it, their faces quite close together. Gavin’s wrapped up in what they’re doing and doesn’t even think to lean away.

It isn’t until he turns to grab something from his bag on the ground next to the computer desk that he catches a glance of Michael and pauses. Ray’s still browsing Reddit but Michael’s looking over at them and his jaw is clenched, his hand gripping the back of Ray’s computer chair so tightly his knuckles are white, annoyance simmering in his eyes.

Gavin freezes, uncertain.

_What’s going on…?_

If Michael’s jealous again then he _must_ still care.

Gavin has no idea what to do. He turns back to the computer but he can’t shake the feeling of Michael watching him, the hair on the back of his neck prickling up on end.

Jordan is still babbling away as his fingers fly over the keyboard. Gavin’s only half-watching, even if he’s doing something very impressive on the screen - but when the other man finishes up and sits back in his chair, the locations of all the ACPD’s cop cars up on the screen, Gavin turns to him and nods his approval. He’s too aware of his own actions now that he knows Michael’s watching, and after a moment of panicked deliberation the sudden frantic thought comes to him that he should push it a little.

After all, just ignoring the problem has not made it go away. Michael’s still acting funny with him and how much worse could he possibly make things?

So he leans in, and plays it up a bit as he smiles at Jordan.

“You’re really clever,” he says, and keeps it quiet and sincere, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

Jordan grins, face flushing a bit, one hand going up to rub the back of his neck.

“Thanks Gav. That means a lot coming from you. I was… pretty nervous when Burnie asked me to come over here. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Bollocks, I’ve heard about you too! You’ve got quite the reputation; I’m well excited that you’re in with Burnie now.”

Jordan flaps a hand. “Yeah, but you’re _Gavin Free_. You and Ramsey have done some wild stuff.”

“Wild stuff,” Gavin mutters, a little flustered himself now. He scoffs a bit. “Well, for all that I still can’t get this other bloody thing to work - the Corpirate’s company’s records? He’s got them locked down tight.”

He brings it up on the screen and Jordan leans in, interested.

“Can I try?” he asks.

“Yeah, sure,” Gavin replies, but Jordan’s already wheeling his chair in, nudging Gavin’s hand off the mouse to get a hold of it, his other hand gently pulling Gavin’s off the keyboard so he can take his place.

The next thing Gavin knows someone is clearing their throat behind him, close and loud enough that he jumps a bit.

“Can we talk for a sec, Gavin?” Michael says, and Gavin freezes.

It’s probably pretty pathetic, he thinks, that his heart is immediately pounding and his stomach churning. He can’t tell if he’s scared or nervous - can’t read anything in Michael’s tone, either. But he came over - at least he came over and is fucking _speaking to him_ \- and he nods, getting up.

“Sure. One sec, Jordan.”

Jordan’s absorbed in the screen anyway, and Michael raises his eyebrows. The next thing Gavin knows Michael’s put a hand on his shoulder to lead him out and he actually shivers because God, he’s missed Michael in this weird almost-fight they’ve had and it’s the first time his friend has touched him all week and he could nearly sob with relief at the fact that at least _something_ is finally happening. They get outside and shut the door and Michael lets his hand fall immediately. When Gavin turns to him his face is still blank and unreadable and he bites his lip, feeling _lost_ suddenly, so confused and unsure what’s going on between them-

What Michael thinks of him-

Why he’s acting this way, why it took Gavin pushing his interest in Jordan for him to even _speak_ to him.

He’s hopeful, because this might be an indication that Michael still cares, but when Michael speaks, his voice is slow and careful.

“I don’t know if you were flirting with him back there or what, but he’s taken.”

“What?” Gavin asks, confused.

“He’s taken,” Michael repeats flatly. “He’s with another guy in Burnie’s team already. I met him when I went over there last time. His communications guy. They’re together.”

“Oh,” Gavin says, and scratches his head. “Okay. Doesn’t matter much to me.”

Michael’s eyebrows rise. “Seems like you two were getting along.”

“He’s fun to talk to,” Gavin replies, and then adds, heart pounding, “But I wasn’t interested in _him_.”

Michael just nods at that, and turns away. “Okay. Just giving you a heads up.”

And just like that it seems like he’s about to _leave_ again and something in Gavin snaps a little; he reaches out and grabs Michael’s wrist, tugging him back around.

“Michael,” he says, nearly a plea.

Michael stares at him and all Gavin can do is stare desperately back.

“You didn’t seriously think,” he continues frantically, “That I was into him - did you?”

Michael doesn’t answer and _fuck_ , is all Gavin can think, _fuck fuck fuck._

This entire time the last thing he wanted was for Michael to start doubting whether Gavin was interested in him. And now as they look at each other Gavin wants to beg, to plead, to just be _out_ with it - to scream it’s _you, fuck I like_ you _, it’s been you this whole time-_

But he’s too uncertain now; he doesn’t know where they stand, and while a month ago he may have been reasonably confident that if he admitted his feelings for Michael the other man would respond positively…

Now he has no idea. Now it’s just - what even is going _on_? 

He lets Michael’s wrist go and looks away, not bothering to hide how upset he is, and after a second Michael’s face softens.

“Gavin,” he begins, but before anything else can happen a door bangs open down the corridor and Jack’s striding cheerfully towards them, already calling out.

“Guys? Grab Jordan, we’re going to lunch.”

Gavin turns towards Michael, hoping they’ll continue this conversation elsewhere or he’ll say he’s staying back for lunch and Michael can stick around too - but at Jack’s arrival his face has, for whatever reason, hardened again, and Gavin bites his lip again, feeling like he’s been punched in the gut as he follows Jack into the computer lab.

It’s all his fault that things were ruined when they were going so well. If he’d just left well enough alone Michael would have made a move on his own. Now the other man is annoyed with him and Gavin’s starting to feel so upset about it all that he kind of just wants to do what he does with all his problems - pull away from them, close off and hope they go away if they won’t just solve themselves.

For now, he pastes on a smile and moves back to Jordan’s side, not turning to look at Michael once as they head out.

 

* * *

 

**\+ 1**

It’s nearly the weekend, which Gavin’s glad of, because he really, really needs a break from hanging out at work with Michael constantly at the fringes of his mind, always in the building but never coming to talk to him, and he himself once again too scared to make the first move. It’s beginning to seriously stress him out.

Unfortunately he cannot escape the Friday night bevs outing that Geoff drags the entire crew on. It’s something of a tradition when they’re getting close to finalising heist plans and Gavin has half a mind to just get completely wasted, but when they actually get to the bar he finds himself too scared of what he might say to Michael in a drunken state, and sticks to nursing just one drink and staring at his phone for most of the evening.

One by one the others leave. Geoff gets a call from Jeremy about some problem at work and heads out, and Jack follows soon after, telling them he’s not in the mood to get drunk. Ryan and Ray have been wrapped up in each other all evening and Gavin can only snort when they leave together. They’ve been close for a while now but unlike he and Michael it seems they can fucking _communicate like adults_ , and now he’s the one who’s got something like jealousy simmering in his gut as he watches them walk out with their hands tangled together, Ray laughing at something the other man’s said.

It leaves he and Michael alone at the table and Michael’s staring at his phone too and suddenly-

Suddenly Gavin just can’t do it any more.

He considers going home, but he doesn’t feel like sitting alone back there if Geoff’s at work, so he mutters something about getting another drink and goes over to the bar instead.

Even if he doesn’t want to get drunk, there’s something appealing about nursing another pint and letting himself clear his head a bit, so he sits down at a different table with another glass, rests his head in his hands and lets the noise and babble of the room wash over him.

At some point he glances over his shoulder and sees Michael still sitting alone at their table. He knows the other man can see him from there, but Michael doesn’t come up to him. But he also doesn’t leave, and Gavin lets out a sigh as he turns back to his drink, suddenly miserable.

_This was all your stupid idea in the first place. If you hadn’t gotten petty and decided to make him jealous that first time…_

He’s just so confused. Michael seems to not like the idea of him being with anyone else. But he still isn’t making a move, still won’t do anything beyond joke in front of the others, still hasn’t made an effort to fix things-

And Gavin is slowly crumbling, unable to deal with this uncertainty, with how it’s making every one of his deep buried insecurities rise up.

And then-

“Hey,” someone says, too close to his ear.

He turns and finds a man standing right behind him, leaning in close and smiling. It’s a big guy, tall and broad shouldered. A bit older than him, with something rough about his features - his knuckles scarred where he’s put his hand down to lean against the table. His eyes are bright and blue in his ruddy, red face, but something about the way he’s staring makes Gavin’s gut turn.

“Can I help you?” he asks politely.

“Thought maybe _I_ could help _you_. You look pretty lonely over here.” He pulls out a chair and sits uninvited, scooting in close. Gavin shifts back a bit.

“I’m not,” he replies, flatly.

“Really? Looked like it a second ago,” the man says airily. He rests an elbow on the table and leans in closer, still grinning away. “Jake’s the name. Let me buy you a drink, that’ll cheer you up.”

“Thanks,” Gavin says, “But I’m fine.”

“Hey, c’mon. I’ve got money to spare.”

“I’ve had enough I think,” Gavin replies, pushing his own empty glass away and pointedly taking out his phone.

Jake doesn’t give up. 

“Doesn’t need to be alcoholic,” he tries, but Gavin glances up and shakes his head again. He wants to scowl and tell the guy to fuck off but he’s never been confrontational and starting a fight would only make his evening even worse at this point.

“I’m really not thirsty.” _Oh God, get the damn hint._

“Hey, don’t be rude,” is Jake’s response to that, which makes Gavin gape at him, confused, especially when the guy continues bluntly, “I think you’re really hot. I like to buy drinks for attractive people. It doesn’t need to go anywhere but at least let me buy you one.”

He’s still leaning in close and Gavin turns away, starting to feel stifled.

“Thanks but no thanks,” he repeats firmly. “Excuse me.”

He hears Jake scoff behind him when he stands up. He glances over at the table where Michael is - he’s still there, but all his attention’s on his phone and Gavin’s pretty sure he didn’t see what just happened. He feels uncomfortable and flustered suddenly and heads off to the bathroom, which is down a little corridor from the bar’s back room. It’s quiet here and he’s glad to get away from the noise and chatter. He stands splashing his face with cold water for a moment before looking up into the mirror and pulling a face.

He can never tell if he’s attractive or not. It’s easy to focus on the wonky bit of his nose where he fell on it once, and how he always has dark tired lines under his eyes. He’s definitely no Jordan, no Dan - no _Michael_ , Michael with his strong arms and bright smile. How could Gavin be enough for him?

He’s enough for some buzzed, horny guy in a bar apparently, he thinks bitterly, and turns away from the mirror, heading out. He intends to get back to the table, grab his stuff and go home, Michael be damned-

But just before he can reach the door to the main pub area, Jake intercepts him in the corridor.

“Hey,” he says, striding up to Gavin, who stares at him, a little startled by his appearing suddenly out of nowhere. “Here’s that drink.”

He holds out a glass and Gavin stares at it.

“What?” he asks.

“That drink I said I’d get you.” Jake is smiling still and he takes a step forward - Gavin steps back. At first he’s annoyed, but when he tries to get around Jake the other man deftly blocks his path and something a little more nervous bubbles up in his stomach. He can’t get past and Jake is backing him up against the wall now, pushing the drink at him. Like hell he’s about to trust an open glass like that. 

“Look mate,” he says, letting irritation seep into his tone, “I said I didn’t want it.”

“Well I’ve already bought it, haven’t I? Don’t be so _rude_ ,” Jake mutters, leaning in close.

Gavin turns his face away. He’s starting to feel less frustrated and more uncomfortable now, because Jake really is a very big guy - tall, physically imposing - and he keeps getting closer. Gavin takes another step back and the wall hits his back. He’s rather trapped and he swallows down a pang of something like fear.

“Well?” Jack grabs his wrist and tries to press the glass into his hand.

“I’m here with someone,” Gavin blurts out, refusing to take it, and Jake just laughs.

“Yeah?” he asks, sounding rather disbelieving. “Who?”

Gavin peers over his shoulder. Through the doorway there’s a clear line to where their table was - where Michael was sitting - but the table is empty now, and there’s no sign of him. He’s gone, Michael’s gone - and the first bolt of panic rips through him as he realises he’s alone here.

Jake pushes the drink at him again and Gavin doesn’t catch it. It falls to the floor and spills everywhere, splashing over their shoes. Jake tuts, raising his eyebrows.

“You’re not here with anyone,” he says, with a mean sort of sneer. “But I already paid for that drink and you just wasted it, so you’d better find another way to make it up to me.”

He steps even closer and Gavin flinches, hands going up defensively and pushing against the other man’s chest, making him move back a step. He’s starting to freak out a bit now because this is bad, this guy’s not leaving him alone - he’s already beginning to calculate all the ways he might have to get out of this. Knee to the groin, elbow to the throat, duck and run - he’s practiced it with Ryan a hundred times. But this guy is really big and the way he’s got Gavin up against the wall now, it’d be easy for him to grab him and smash his head against the wall, or seize him by the throat. To hurt him.

The fear is rising up in his chest now and damn it, where are the others when you need them - Geoff, or Ryan, or-

_Michael-_

Jake moves in and Gavin shoves him back again, but the other man makes a low, irritated sound and grabs his wrists to stop him, gripping so tight that it hurts. And okay, fuck that, Gavin kicks out viciously at him, aiming for his groin - but before his boot can make contact someone’s surging in from the side and shoving Jake roughly away from him and the grip on his wrists is gone, his foot meeting empty air.

And there is Michael, standing in front of him, chest heaving angrily. He looks furious, breathing hard, eyes flashing and fists clenched at his sides, glowering at Jake as the other man catches himself against the wall.

“The fuck,” Michael says, voice low and angry and somehow even more terrifying than if he’d been shouting, “Do you think you’re doing?”

Jake straightens up and Michael stays firmly between him and Gavin.

“Who the fuck are you?” Jake demands. “Stay out of this!”

“I saw you, asshole,” Michael spits. “He said he wasn’t fucking interested.”

He turns and looks at Gavin. There’s worry under the anger in his eyes as he looks him up and down. “He touch you?”

Gavin shakes his head. He feels quite dizzy suddenly and steadies himself against the wall. His panic has faded away in a sudden rush - disappeared as soon as he saw Michael. 

“What the fuck is it to you?” Jake demands, moving back in again. He doesn’t seem very intimidated, but Michael rounds on him and practically bares his teeth.

“He’s part of my fucking crew is what,” he shoots back, and advances on Jake. He might look tiny in comparison to the other guy but when Michael gets angry it’s fucking scary - he gets up in the other man’s face and sneers. “You must be a fucking idiot. Do you know who you just messed with?” 

The other man’s blank face is answer enough, and Michael scoffs out a laugh.

“Heard of Geoff Ramsey?” he asks.

The colour drains from Jake’s face as he glances between them and then mutters a curse under his breath. Michael lets out a low snicker.

“That’s right, bitch. You know what he does to people who touch his stuff?”

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Jake splutters, taking a step back.

“Yeah, well see if the Vagabond sees it that way,” Michael snarls. “You’ve heard what he does to people. You can’t run from the Black Skull. He’ll find you anywhere. But Ryan’s not here right now,” he adds, “I am. And I just saw you messing with someone I care about.”

“Let’s just drop this,” Jake says frantically, but Michael shakes his head.

“I don’t think so,” he replies, and pulls a knife from his belt. Jake goes even paler and Gavin’s pretty sure he’s on the verge of pissing himself. But this isn’t the sort of bar you can just stab someone and get away with it. The last thing he wants is to spend tonight running from the police. He reaches forward and catches Michael’s arm.

“Christ, Michael. I’m okay,” he says.

“Gav,” Michael starts, but Gavin tugs at his arm.

“I mean it. Let him go. He’s learned his lesson.”

Michael raises his eyebrows but turns back to Jake, who looks ready to bolt. He calmly points his knife at the guy’s crotch and Jake raises his hands and backs off before turning on his heel and running back out into the pub.

The second he’s gone Gavin lets go of Michael and slumps back against the wall. Michael turns to him, anger fading away now to be replaced by a fierce concern.

“You alright?” he asks.

Gavin nods, but his heart’s still pounding and he’s shaking a bit as the adrenaline fades away. Michael grabs his hands, squeezing gently, eyes scanning him over for injury.

“I’m fine, Michael,” Gavin assures him. “I’m alright. He just made me uncomfortable is all.”

“God, Gavin.” Michael doesn’t let go of his hands, thumb running soothingly over his knuckles.

“I couldn’t see you,” Gavin says, a bit pitifully.

“I went to the bathroom,” Michael replies. 

“Oh,” Gavin says, and laughs a little hysterically. “I thought you might’ve left.”

There’s a moment of silence and the panicked thought hits Gavin, then, that Michael might think this was all still some trick.

“I didn’t,” he stammers, desperate not to ruin this further, not now, “I wasn’t - I wasn’t trying that time, I wasn’t doing it deliberately, he wasn’t-”

“Shut up,” Michael says, and Gavin’s mouth snaps shut. Michael’s face softens, and he quickly continues, “I know you weren’t. Don’t ever fucking apologise for someone else making you uncomfortable, okay? That’s not your fault.”

Gavin nods, biting his lip. 

“Can we get out of here?” he asks, and Michael nods frantically.

“Yeah - yeah, of course, boi. Let’s go.”

He lets go of Gavin’s hands but immediately tucks an arm around his shoulders. They get their stuff from the table and head outside but stop in a quiet laneway just down the street. Michael’s rubbing Gavin’s arm soothingly and he swallows, unsure again.

“Thanks for back there,” he says.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Michael scoffs. “Also, it looked like you were about to kick him in the nuts when I got there.”

Gavin manages a laugh. “I would’ve, Michael.”

“I know.” He reaches up and cups Gavin’s cheek and Gavin stiffens, upset rising up in his throat suddenly because he can’t do this. He just can’t keep doing this. He shies away and Michael drops his hand right away.

“Please don’t,” Gavin chokes out, and Michael looks stricken.

“I’m sorry,” he says immediately. “I shouldn’t have, not after what just happened-”

“No, it’s not that,” Gavin replies. It’s hard to find the words but he tries, “I just. I can’t handle this, Michael, don’t touch me like that if you don’t mean anything by it.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what’s happening,” Gavin says, and gestures frantically between the two of them. The words spill out now. “I don’t know what’s going on and I… I’m sorry about what happened with Dan and Jordan. I was being stupid and I wanted to get your attention but I just… I can’t keep getting my hopes up and then not know what you’re thinking.”

Michael bites his lip. “Gav…”

“I know I’ve been an idiot,” Gavin continues, unable to stop now that he’s started. Practically babbling at this point. “I guess I was toying with you, kinda, but I didn’t mean for it to go this far. I just need to know where we stand with each other, I thought-”

“Calm down, Gav,” Michael cuts in. He grabs his shoulders instead and then, after a second, pulls him into a tight hug. Gavin lets him, and after a second, engulfed in that warm embrace, feels some of the tension leech from his shoulders. It feels _safe_ here, after such an awful night, and after a moment he brings his arms up and hugs Michael back, burying his face in the other’s shoulder.

“Jesus, boi,” Michael murmurs against his hair.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin says again, voice muffled, and Michael pushes him back a little, still gripping his arms, and stares at him earnestly.

“Stop apologising, okay?” he says, and then sighs a bit. “I knew what you were doing, with the jealousy thing. It fucking worked, alright? I didn’t like seeing you with Dan. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Still made me pissed off, so I guess you win on that front.”

“But you didn’t do anything,” Gavin points out, and then adds - nervously - “You don’t need to try and make me feel better, Michael. If you don’t like… if you don’t want… just be straight with me, okay?”

Michael’s eyes widen a little and he squeezes Gavin’s shoulders.

“I like you, Gavin,” he says firmly - Gavin stares at him - “I wanted to make a move like hell, especially when I saw you with those guys.”

“Then why…”

Michael looks away, biting his lip. Uncertain himself now. 

“The others kept bringing it up,” he admits, a bit nervously. “And I didn’t - I couldn’t tell with this crew. You know what people are like in our job sometimes, and in the crew I used to work with before… it can be dangerous getting involved with someone you work with and some people don’t like it. My old boss didn’t. I know Geoff probably wouldn’t give a fuck but I… I wasn’t _sure_ , and I was scared, too. And scared you’d get hurt if some guys realised how much I liked you and wanted to use that to get to me. I know I have enemies. So I waited. I wanted to make a move but…”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Gavin assures him. His head is spinning a little from the influx of information.

Michael smiles a bit.

“I know. You can take care of yourself. But then I saw you and Dan and I just… wasn’t sure suddenly. I got insecure as well I guess. You guys seemed so close even if you aren’t dating, I just. Started wondering if I was enough. And I guess because I got upset I thought it’d hurt less if I just pretended I didn’t care. If I didn’t get my hopes up as well, you know? And it was the same thing with Jordan. You hacker guys are both so smart and I couldn’t understand a word he was saying, but you seemed so impressed. But I’m just the grunt who blows stuff up, y’know?”

Gavin can scarcely believe this. He reaches out and grips Michael’s arm.

“Michael, no,” he says, “It’s not like that at all! You’re smart too, and strong, and brave-”

“Not brave now, am I? Couldn’t even ask you out.”

“Braver than me,” Gavin admits, shuffling his feet. “You can handle yourself with a gun and all too, and I… I can’t, so it worried me too. You’re like… you’re everything, Michael, you always seem so on top of things, so confident and capable and everything just seems brighter with you there. Michael, you’re like the sun, Michael.”

Michael barks out a laugh at that, startled but genuine. “That’s some fucking Shakespearean shit right there.”

“I’m sorry,” Gavin repeats, “I never meant for you to feel like I didn’t like you or you weren’t enough.”

“That’s what I should be saying to you,” Michael points out, then sighs. “Guess we’re both two fucking, insecure idiots then, aren’t we.”

“My dumb plan got us into this.”

“No, you’re right,” Michael admits, “It must’ve seemed like I was messing with your head by not making a move. Especially since you’ve told me before about your weird rejection thing.”

“Not really an excuse,” Gavin mutters, but Michael shakes his head.

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“Why?” Gavin asks, and looks up at him. 

Everything seems clearer now. Michael is so close, his brown eyes soft now, his hands still warm on Gavin’s arms, and he’s settling and calming now that he knows Michael’s been just as nervous and unsure as him. That this was all some big, stupid misunderstanding.

“Why? _Why?_ ” Michael asks, and laughs. “You idiot, I just told you I like you. That’s why.”

“Oh,” is all Gavin can say, somehow still startled.

“You gonna do something about it?” Michael asks. His voice is teasing but there’s still something a little awkward, a little unsure under it, and Gavin can only smile. A big, silly smile as all his worries and anxieties from the previous day fade away into relief.

“I love you too Michael,” he says, only to freeze - _shit, shit, he said_ like _not… oh God -_

But Michael just grins, and the tension seems to fall out of him too now, leaving him looking as boyish and carefree as usual. A terrible fondness swells up warm in Gavin’s chest and he wants to kiss him, suddenly. He knows Michael won’t try, not after what just happened to him tonight, but he wants to forget that - to focus on this here, now - and it’s his turn to make the first move.

He doesn’t want to wait any more.

He moves in slowly - sees Michael’s eyes widen and his breath hitch as he realises what he’s doing - but the other man doesn’t pull away, and their lips meet gently. The kiss is slow and careful, Gavin’s eyes slipping shut and Michael’s grip light on his arms, tentatively working out how they fit against each other. Gavin feels _safe_ , above all, and they’re both smiling when they pull apart.

“Well,” Michael says with a bit of a grin. “That was a while coming.”

Gavin huffs out a laugh. “Worth every damn second.”

“Good.” Michael reaches out and cups his cheek for a second before letting his hand to fall to his shoulder. “Let’s get you home before you get in any more trouble then.”

“Wait,” Gavin says quickly, because he needs to know, he needs to be _certain_ now - “Where does this leave us?”

“Where do you think it leaves us?” Michael asks, but then seems to realise Gavin is serious, and squeezes his shoulder.

“No more waiting around, okay?” he says, seriously. “If you want to… to be together. Well. That’s what I want too.”

“Okay,” Gavin whispers, and smiles again. “Okay.”

Michael grins back, holding out his hand. Gavin takes it but then, on impulse, leans in and kisses him again. Quick and brief but firmer, more sure, and they’re both grinning at each other when they pull away. Hell, Gavin can’t stop smiling.

Michael’s staring back at him with something almost adoring in his face, something that makes Gavin blush and drop his eyes and for all his insecurities before, right now it is doubtless in his mind that Michael wants him too, that he’s just as pleased about all this. And when Michael squeezes his hand and starts to lead him off down the street, Gavin presses close against his side and follows.

They’re gonna be careful, he knows. Gonna take it slow and make sure they actually talk to each other from now on.

But right now, in this moment, all he can feel is a pure bubbling _joy_ , because it might have taken a long time and a lot of roadblocks but he meant it; it’s worth every God damn second to look at Michael now and know, finally, that he’s _his_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the prompt! <3 ONCE MORE WHAT WAS MEANT TO BE A SHORT FILL GOT VERY LONG OOPS


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